What To Do If You're Into Bondage, But Your Partner Isn't

Don't worry angel, no judgement here

The world of BDSM can be amazing, but if you're introducing it to someone for the first time they might find it pretty daunting, (or even kinda scary!) This can happen when you try to show a new partner the world of bondage. Sometimes they can freak out and totally reject it, which can leave you feeling crappy. But don't be disheartened if your love isn't ready to tie you up right away. There's no need to break up if they're not as kinky as you. Try our tips instead…

Reassure them and keep an open mind

Like we said, bondage can be daunting at first, but that doesn't mean your partner is gonna hate it forever. Don't shame them for being scared by it, and instead try to explain a bit more about it and why you like it so much. Keep an open mind to any concerns they might have (some people might find being tied up or restrained triggering) and create a safe space so they don't feel stupid for asking questions.

Find out what their fantasies are

Everyone expresses their sexuality differently, so ask them what they're into. If they love role play maybe you can incorporate bondage into that somehow. Could they buckle you up while pretending to be a pirate? If they love to watch you, maybe they'd be cool with watching you enjoy bondage solo? You'll be surprised, you might be able to find some common ground that will turn you both on.

Take them to a munch

A munch is a meet up for BDSM enthusiasts but involves no sex at all. It's mainly just people chatting, making friends and swapping tips on where to find cool harnesses. If they're comfortable coming along with you, it could help them to see that bondage isn't so daunting after all!

Ask them if they're okay with you experimenting anyway

If they're really anti-bondage, ask if they're cool with you doing it without them. Maybe on a night when they're working late (or out at the pub with their mates), you can try getting dressed up for yourself. Not everyone who loves BDSM needs a partner to enjoy it. Sometimes solo play is even more fun!

Wear bondage outside of the bedroom

Bondage doesn't have to always be about sex. You can wear harnesses and ropes over everyday clothing, to festivals or out to raves. Lots of people do it and it's actually super on-trend atm. BDSM isn't something that has to be hidden away and don't let your partner hold you back. You can find other harness lovers in the most unexpected places, and it could open up a whole new friendship group for you.

If you ever feel alone in your love for bondage, remember, we're always here for you babe! You can message the Lolli Wraps team anytime on TikTok, IG or via email at hello@lolliwraps.au and we'll chat with you about it <3